xG, OGs and Cliff Richard’s greatest hits

Bayern bin Ancelotti, Mamma Mia v Bohemian Rhapsody, and the Witches of the South

That Harry Kane team, that dreadful Palace record, and that incredible Peru kit

The Dutch demise, Hackney Wick v Clapton FC, and is the end of heading nigh?

Genetics, Götterdämmerung and making America great again

Irish hangovers, Chinese takeovers, and the king of crumbles

Stoke enter City’s seventh circle of swell

Liverpool in the goals, the FA in the dock and bad juju in West Brom

Koeman and Everton consciously uncouple - is Bilic next for the chop?

The return of Whispering Claude and friends forced to fight against each other