Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

How can I embrace my God-given limits and not go beyond what he is asking me to do?

For example, many people, due to lack of planning, will watch a movie to relax, only to realize they feel worse spiritually, not better, when it is over.

when you plan your vacation this coming year, apply the principle of Sabbath. See it as an extended Sabbath to the Lord. Plan, in advance, how you will balance the four elements of biblical Sabbaths—stopping, resting, delighting, and contemplating—during that time.

growing, maturing Christians are always exploring, reading, and learning. Study may include digging into Scripture through inductive Bible study or other helpful tools, reading books, or attending workshops, classes, and seminars. Listening to teachings from people ahead of you spiritually may also be included here. Consider studying not simply for information but for the purpose of formation in Christ. Pray back to God what you are learning. I love to read so I could easily have moved Study under the category of Rest. Yet I can think of a few friends who would move Study immediately to Work.

In the same way, a Rule of Life is a trellis that helps us abide in Christ and become more fruitful spiritually.1 A Rule of Life, very simply, is an intentional, conscious plan to keep God at the center of everything we do. It provides guidelines to help us continually remember God as the Source of our lives.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our world is to be a community of emotionally healthy adults who love well. This will take the power of God and a commitment to learn, grow, and break with unhealthy, destructive patterns that go back generations in our families and cultures—and in some cases, our Christian culture also.

Many people realize through this exercise how much they still live in the past and project it into present relationships. Once we begin to see this connection, we can begin making different choices that are more loving, emotionally adult responses rather than allergic reactions.

We wanted to move people from defensiveness, reactivity, and fear to openness, empathy, and vulnerability. We realized they needed to experience a new kingdom-way of relating that was outside their comfort zone. Practicing new skills like the ones that follow will cause a level of discomfort initially. They are easy to understand but difficult to implement.

Many of us believe loving well is learned automatically, that it is just a “feeling.” We underestimate the depth of our bad habits and what is needed to sustain long-term, Christlike change in our relationships.

Why? You can’t have the true peace of Christ’s kingdom with lies and pretense. They must be exposed to the light and replaced with the truth. This is the mature, loving thing to do.