Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead

I’ve got it all figured out. We’re a parasite. Other animals on this planet coexist with nature. We don’t; we’re like scabies. Tiny mites covering the outer layer of earth, burrowing into it, infecting it. We are like tapeworm

I felt like I was never in the moment I was in. I was always looking back, or
worried about the future

I wonder how often I occupy spaces that were recently inhabited by dead people.

I wonder who will occupy the spaces I’ve inhabited, after I’m dead.

If I get buried, my coffin will be my last space. No one will ever occupy that space but me. That’s a comfort—to have a spot reserved only for me forever.

“How are you going to support yourself if you can’t keep a simple job at a bookstore? I really hope that you don’t plan to just marry some rich man, sweetie. I can’t bear to think—”
“I’m gay,” I remind her.
“Exactly!” she retorts. “It would be especially dishonest.”

says, “Oh dear it’s you.”
I am not sure if he was using the word “dear” as a term of endearment, like “sweetie” or “honey,” or if he was saying, “Oh dear” as in, “Oh no

dip a toe into the church like I am testing the water in a hot bathtub.

Oh, now don’t answer that!” he says, chuckling again. “But seriously, I would love someone young in here. Do you know how to use the internet?”
“Do I know how to use the internet?” I repeat.
He nods. “Yes, I am looking for someone familiar with the internet. Are you acquainted?”
“Well, yes—” I begin to reply.
“Wonderful!” He claps his hands together. “Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! And how is your hearing?”
I stumble to say, “It’s regular, as far as I know. I think I heard everything you’ve said—”
“Well, little lady.” He grins. “I think you might just be our gal! You’re Catholic, of course?”
“Yes,” I say, even though I am an atheist lesbian.
He slaps a hand on his desk. “You’re perfect!”

“Have you ever dated someone you regret dating now?”

I thought about it.

“I’m probably the person people regret dating,” I said

It turns out the crackers I stole are the body of Christ. After eating more than half the bag, I googled the cracker brand and learned that I paired marble Cracker Barrel cheese with God’s transubstantiated body

too, and the cycle will repeat, and repeat, and repeat until the sun swallows the earth, there’s some sort of nuclear catastrophe, or—