Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

Learning how to disagree and not be disagreeable is one of the evidences of intellectual compatibility.

The passive person is far more likely than the aggressor to be “looking.” On the other hand, the passive person must allow the aggressive person to use her strengths and let her leap before it is too late. If you cannot conscientiously leap with her, then hold the rope while she does so. Together you will accomplish much in life, if you learn how to complement each other, rather than be competitors.

The fact that you have acknowledged the potential conflicts and discussed possible solutions will make it much easier for you to discover such solutions when the inevitable conflict arises.

but it requires the aggressor to be empathetic and understanding of the passive personality. He must take time to hear the concerns of the passive individual and even to realize the assets that they bring to the marriage.

The human psyche is a complex combination of heredity and environment.

Real life has to do with dealing with hard issues.

Most Dead Seas are open to questions and are willing to share more if the Babbling Brook will ask those questions.

After marriage, the couple often finds these traits divisive. The aggressive partner keeps trying to push the passive partner into action. “Come on; we can make this happen” is their mantra. On the other hand, the passive partner keeps saying, “Let’s wait. There might be a better opportunity later. Don’t get so excited. Everything is going to work out.”

Passives and Aggressives

Yes, we are wired differently and have difficulty understanding why the other person would not see it our way.