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Maria Semple

Where'd You Go, Bernadette?

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  • Magel Patiñohas quoted9 years ago
    “The truth is complicated. There’s no way one person can ever know everything about another person.”
  • AnnieShmalgausenhas quoted2 years ago
    It was pouring buckets
  • 302 Rizvi Khadijahas quoted5 years ago
    She’s my dog,” I said. “You hold the ladder.”

    “Absolutely not, Bala. It’s too dangerous.”
  • 302 Rizvi Khadijahas quoted5 years ago
    From: Audrey Griffin

    To: Soo-Lin Lee-Segal

    Don’t think I can’t take a hint. How about I get in my car and deliver you a plate myself?

    *

    From: Soo-Lin Lee-Segal

    To: Audrey Griffin

    How about you don’t? Thanks, though!
  • 302 Rizvi Khadijahas quoted5 years ago
    You’ll see on Bee’s passport that her given name is Balakrishna Branch. (Let’s just say I was
  • dianalauraaahas quoted5 years ago
    Do you know how absolutely exotic it is that you haven’t been corrupted by fashion and pop culture? A month ago I mentioned Ben Stiller, and do you remember how you responded? “Who’s that?” I loved you all over again.
  • dianalauraaahas quoted5 years ago
    I’d say I never considered myself a great architect. I’m more of a creative problem solver with good taste and a soft spot for logistical nightmares.
  • dianalauraaahas quoted5 years ago
    My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like, I’m going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I’m about to kick the shit out of life.
  • dianalauraaahas quoted5 years ago
    The South Pole is on a shifting ice sheet. Every year they have to relocate the official Pole marker because it can move one hundred feet! Would this mean my building would have to be a wind-powered crab-walking igloo? Maybe. I’m not worried about it. That’s what ingenuity and insomnia are for.
  • dianalauraaahas quoted5 years ago
    Every single iceberg filled me with feelings of sadness and wonder. Not thoughts of sadness and wonder, mind you, because thoughts require a thinker, and my head was a balloon, incapable of thoughts. I didn’t think about Dad, I didn’t think about you, and, the big one, I didn’t think about myself. The effect was like heroin (I think), and I wanted to stretch it out as long as possible.
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