In accepting this, I became the girl they all talk about — you know the one. The girl you shake your head at, wondering why she stays, wondering why she’s there. How come she’s so stupid? What could she possibly see in a jerk like that? That’s me. Though at first, I didn’t realize it. I fell in love with the devil. I didn’t know it at the time; even if I did, I can’t promise I would have done things differently. It took time for me to see what Marcus was; to see my love was one-sided.
But that’s what it was, you see. Love. Deep, binding love I couldn’t let go of.
He consumed me. He took my heart in his hands and he’s holding it there.
There’s no way I can turn away from him.
The Katia I am now, she’ll disappear into a world of hurt and lies. She will no longer be. He’ll take me and he’ll twist my world until it’s no longer beautiful, but ugly. So ugly it’ll bury me deep. There’s a good chance I’ll never come out of it unscathed.
But I’m getting too far ahead. I have to start you from the beginning.