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Colm O'Connor

The Courage to Love: Surviving and Thriving in Your Relationship

Dr Colm O'Connor, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist, has for over twenty years explored the emotional lives of couples and researched hundreds of cases of couples in distress.
Looking beneath the surface of everyday complaints, The Courage to Love reveals those insights and shows how we seek solutions to life's most essential questions in close relationships. It answers common questions that we often ask such as: 'Why do we constantly argue about trivial things?' 'Why do we have to win an argument at all?' 'Why is it that we often forget what it is we end up fighting about?' 'How is it that love can deteriorate into abuse?'
In answering these kinds of questions, Dr O'Connor shows what is ultimately at stake for people in winning an argument, starting a fight, proving a point, triumphing in divorce, or abusing a lover, and presents a range of solutions that are not about how to control relationships but how to inhabit them.
Painting a dramatic portrait of love as a heroic response to human vulnerability, The Courage to Love shines new light on how relationship breakdown happens and provides a guide for getting back on track.
316 printed pages
Copyright owner
Bookwire
Original publication
2013
Publication year
2013
Publisher
Gill Books
Have you already read it? How did you like it?
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Impressions

  • Svitlana Kachanovashared an impression2 years ago

    Amazing book, got some insights.

  • Binn Binnshared an impression8 years ago
    💞Loved Up

  • Esme Xbiebershared an impression7 years ago
    💞Loved Up

Quotes

  • Mariya Rafalovichhas quoted7 years ago
    Courage includes tolerating your own inadequacy, accepting your own limitations, inhabiting your helplessness, befriending your limits—and still having confidence in your own self. It takes courage to stop self-rejection. It takes courage to stop thinking that there is more you should be doing, there is more you should have, there is more you need to chase.
  • Mariya Rafalovichhas quoted8 years ago
    There is something about love that will see you not loving the person but loving the courage in them. You love the courage of your small child—you see this when the very small five-year-old runs onto a very big soccer pitch. You love the courage of your partner, who carries a great burden without complaint. You love the courage of your mother or father, who keep hidden the pain of illness.
  • Mariya Rafalovichhas quoted8 years ago
    Here is someone who should make me feel more secure, confident, important, significant and worthy than I am. Here is someone who should help me forget my inadequacy, isolation and sense of confusion. Here is someone who should help me to not feel so vulnerable.’ The narcissist might seek a trophy partner to achieve this; the dependent might seek a partner to hand over responsibility; and the control freak might seek someone to submit. To greater or lesser degrees, we all seek someone who makes us feel good and right about ourselves.

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